The following are some signs of abuse to be aware of in a relationship. Recognizing the signs could help you stay safe.

Someone who is abusive may:

• Act jealous or possessive and say it is out of love.
• Blame you for their behavior, saying “you’re making me do this to you.”
• Destroy or threaten to destroy your things.
• Threaten to hurt you, themselves, your family members, your friends, or your pets.
• Touch you in a way that hurts or scares you, or in any way that you do not want to be touched.
• Force sex or sexual acts in ways or at times that are not comfortable for you.
• Threaten to report you to immigration or to destroy your papers.
• Get angry unpredictably or in a way that scares you.
• Blame you, others, alcohol, stress, depression, etc., for their violent behavior.
• Belittle or make fun of your concerns and fears about your relationship.
• Threaten to “out” you to family, friends or work.
• Act differently in public than in private.
• Isolate you by making it difficult or impossible to be with your family or friends.
• Threaten to take your children and claim you won’t see them again.
• Make promises to change but does not follow through.

Some behaviors have been identified to be especially dangerous:

• Threatening to kill you or themselves, especially if the abuser has access to weapons
• Strangling, choking
• Stalking
• Controlling most or all of your activities